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so tonight my philosophy professor had these nasty bruises all over her arms and she stopped mid-lecture to say “sorry you guys have to look at my bruised-up body, my friend brought a stripper pole over for thanksgiving and that shit is not easy. tip your strippers. tip your strippers well” and then immediately kept talking about philosophy
if pokemon were real i would literally never go outside
would you feel safe knowing that, out there somewhere, are hundreds and hundreds of mr. mimes just waiting
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